Relearning to love: thoughts of adolescents and young survivors of dating violence against women

Abstract

Introduction: Socialization in a concept of love biased by gender differences and that normalizes abusive behaviors has been studied in the literature when investigating the presence of violence against women in adolescent couples. However, there are few studies focused on the recovery experienced by teenager survivors and how their concept of love and relationships evolves. Purpose/objectives: The objective of this research is to describe, from the voices of the girls, how this concept evolves throughout the relationship of violence and the subsequent recovery process. Methodology: We apply a qualitative biographical-narrative methodology with the design of parallel stories, interviewing 13 women survivors of gender-based violence in adolescence. We apply an interpretive analysis, identifying predominant themes in the discourse, in accordance with the ethical recommendations of protection and confidentiality. Results: The concept of love changes throughout the relationship and especially after the breakup, producing a reconstruction of it. Before the relationship, they present models of couples centered on the romantic love, favoring the conviction of eternal love and total dedication. During the relationship, they express beliefs that normalize and justify gender-based violence, empowering love to overcome obstacles in the couple. Thoughts related to the sexual theme, understood as an obligation that they call “the unwritten contract”. After the breakup, they have a healthier concept of love, underlining the importance of setting limits before future couples. They express that there are insane beliefs that are difficult to deconstruct. Discussion/contribution/originality: The concept of love learned invisibilizes gender-based violence. The discrepancy between this concept and the lived experience causes teenage girls to rebuild their love ideology in a healthier concept.